TEST Suffers 130b Logistics Theft

Avatar
goddammit all makin' me think it's Friday and shit
Avatar
"Tis' but a scratch!"
Avatar
"Tis' but a flesh wound!"
Avatar
INB4 Tribe heist
Avatar
Psh.. Don't give us that much credit..
Avatar
Dead Alliance: Please Ignore
Avatar
lolololol. True dat.
Avatar
"Right then... we'll call it a draw."
Avatar
Which TEST Director will 'grab and go' next?
Avatar
"the equivalent of dozens of hours of structure shooting for large CFC fleets."But...but what will Boat shoot now?
Avatar
You know when N3 try to take delve, CFC is going to be fighting alongside TEST right?
Avatar
Yep CFC and TEST will join at the hip soon. It is what will happen that is EVE :)
Avatar
Wouldn't be so sure about that one.
Avatar
I love articles like this. I wonder if Gelvon Goblins 40 bil donation is part of the heist amount ; D
Avatar
We didn't want that stuff anyways.
Avatar
One can only hope...
Avatar
Exit Existence [META.] and LNAW are now accepting all corp thieves to start a proud tradition. S2N renter wallet, TEST logistics structures, some minor Tribe assets, we don't care, loot and apply!
Avatar
Boat hasn't bee shooting structures. He has been working on bombing people.Lyris Nairn has been shooting structures for way longer than is healthy, one suspects.
Avatar
I kinda doubt it. Maybe the CFC'll be fighting N3, and maybe a lot of the line grunts will find homes in CFC alliances, but if it comes to that, I somehow doubt TEST will be a consideration. Maybe they'll be harassing both enemies from the sidelines.
Avatar
TEST generally suffers from being a bunch of socially retarded, immature, emotionalized idiots and hence this shit happens. In other words, when the going gets tough, the chimps come out.
Avatar
Adorable, but this is a words-only website.
Avatar
Death by a thousand paper cuts then, and they only got a few more to go in this moronic alliance of retarded teeners.
Avatar
TEST alliance, pest alliance
Avatar
Somebody save TEST from it's misery. Pull the trigger already. Please....
Avatar
No, let us watch the failscade and laugh
Avatar
There's nothing to grab left.
Avatar
They have been fighting from the sidelines for the majority of the war already.
Avatar
They have been fighting from the sidelines for the majority of their alliance's life.
Avatar
Rumors have it Lyris is, in fact, a bot.
Avatar
Space Captain Morgan Spiced Rum of Tomorrow Lyris Nairn is actually a very advanced script powered by Spacebook likes.
Avatar
Fuck you dude. Caldari supremacy!The stuff he took was just payment for emotional pain suffered from chimera hate.
Avatar
Boats been getting better at bombing. Blues, mainly...
Avatar
:toot: CFC victory
Avatar
"No it isn't, half your region's off"
Avatar
The Mittani sends his regards.
Avatar
My only source of income is reimbursements from GSF when I lose a ship. This war has made me very poor.
Avatar
Extremely unlikely considering they have 9000 members and largely recruit outside of Eve.
Avatar
We have plenty of space, Falcon. No chance for you going ratting with a couple of blasterfit nagas? Tool up with a couple of your corpmates. Shouldn't be too difficult, m8 :)
Avatar
Test - RedditGoonnswarm Federation - Something AwefulI think the point really is just moot
Avatar
Not much of a heist but can TEST really afford to lose 130bil like that?
Avatar
We Something Awful posters are generally better at the whole posting thing. The grass is greener here; we average something like 25yo, have a basic grasp of grammar, and we don't rely on some hideous self pruning +rep system that encourages echo-chambery circle-jerkitude.

Early Friday evening, USTZ, a disgruntled TEST Logistics Director pilfered the four major alliance logi hangars, taking a major pile of sovereignty-related assets.

The four hangars hit — at Karan (TEST's current lowsec staging system in Aridia), NOL-M9, K-6K16 and 6VDT-H — likely held the majority of TEST's forward-staged logistical structures. The final take included 21 TCUs, 84 SBUs, 7 IHubs, and 17 cyno jammers — a major haul and the equivalent of dozens of hours of structure shooting for large CFC fleets. Also snatched were large numbers of POS mods and fuel, miscellaneous gear and ammunition, and (perhaps the lowest blow) a hefty load of exotic dancers. The total take is valued at approximately 130B ISK, with most of that coming from Karan.

CFC's The Mittani characterized the events as one of crisis, saying, "The leadership of TEST…[are] officially abandoning ship and grabbing everything not nailed down."  In a Jabber broadcast, TEST's Zverofaust disputed the serverity of the loss, saying it "wasn't a big haul and certainly doesn't cripple us — it's more 'well, that sucks' and will be a pain in the ass for logi dudes." 

The identity and motivation of the thief are curently unconfirmed. Reports from TEST point to Logistics Subdirector Iamien as the perpetrator. The CFC have released a conversation, purported to be between Goonswarm Recon director Blawrf McTaggart and the thief:

Blawrf McTaggart > why'd you burn?
xxx > Nevver really fit in. just did stuff for the sense of doing it
xxx > straw that broke the camel's back was baki telling me to stop being poor
Blawrf McTaggart > hahahahaha
xxx > and they kicked chimeras out of slowcats
xxx > so i had nothing to do anymore.

The theft is another bodyblow to TEST finances. Although the details of TEST's finances are not public, they are indisputably under strain. With traditional external sources of income (such as moons and renters) becoming harder to maintain and defend, the Reddit alliance recently made a call for donations, supported by a leaderboard. So far, this has resulted in several hundred billion added to the alliance's war chest. Whether the pace of donations can keep up with the rate of loss, along with this theft, remains to be seen.

It has certainly been a tumultuous week for TEST, which saw a shakeup at the leadership level with the departure of Beffah from her role as Military Director and the loss of more than 20 systems in Fountain. Though rumours suggested that PL and NCdot could return to Fountain as early as Wednesday, there is as yet no indication that they've redeployed.

AKA Alikchi. Traitor, hater, ganker, idiot. Follow me at @alikchialeika.