Test Alliance: Best of the Worst Thieves

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TEST Alliance: the only place where the scammers get scammed harder than the scammees.
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Test Alliance: Making everyone else look more competent at everything since whenever the fuck we were founded.
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Dave's generous donations. http://i.imgur.com/Vf6CW.jpg
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Best of the worst, indeed!
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This guy was literally in Logi 1 full day before the heist. Didn't even take the time to wait for it to be refilled or something.Also, I do not agree on the worthiness of this heist for an article to be written about it.
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TEST casts counter-scam! It's super effective!!also kick B0RT :D
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If you can't get a laugh out of this story, I think your soul is broken.
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Oh yeah, some nice stuff in that bin. I bet he'll be missing that 7-pack of Quafe Zero the most though. That was a limited edition!
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o7 fr8
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This is how we make money in TEST!
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And that's why you should train Thermodynamics to V.
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Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?
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Who does not enjoy a good tale about an idiot, even more so than an idiot corp theif.
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Cutting all ties for only 6 bill? Weak in the mind indeed.
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HAL: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that
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The fail is strong with this one.
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WE NEED MORE "BORT" LICENSE PLATES IN THE GIFT SHOP! I REPEAT WE ARE SOLD OUT OF "BORT" LICENSE PLATES!
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The scale of the "heist" doesn't matter when it's a hilarious show of incompetence on the thief's part.
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That corpmail was a reply to his mail with this subject: "tired of this game", and this message was found in it: "sell all the characters". My reply isn't as funny without this bit of context, heh.
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Evenews24 quality articles now, great. Please don't do that (ever again).
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The JF service has on average a <24 hr turnaround which is feasibly long enough for no one to notice the theft. Even so I don't give a shit about the isk (ask Twizted Sizter about the free carrier I handed over as recompense for personal distress)Also, I am genuinely quitting this game (char for sale on eve forums if interested) and had planned to BEFORE this 'failure' - it's not a reaction to it. Obviously you don't have to believe that. I don't think any right-minded person could believe I expected to remain in Dreddit/TEST at least after doing this so y'all know I was planning/expecting to leave/be kicked from the alliance at least.If you don't believe it was done for the lols, you don't know TEST very well. I can't imagine anyone didn't find this hilarious. I have a number of Eve Mails to that effect.
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It's important to explain why you want to leave to people you will never see again.

Now, I realize Testies do some rather... retarded things, but this takes the cake (for this week anyway).  After a year in the alliance, Dreddit member Dave06 was finally given access to the treasure trove of the TEST logistics department: six billion isk worth of random stuff, mostly POS modules.  I think he must have been expecting officer modules and tech 2 rigs.  When he realized how much effort it would take to move this myriad heap of towers and modules - the kind of underappreciated work that the logistics department does every day - Dave06 apparently melted down.

Assuming the rest of the logistics department was more weak in the mind than he was, he put all the stuff up for courier contract assigned to the TEST alliance jump freighter service.  Not only did he put the stuff he stole from the logistics hangar in the contracts, he put a bunch of his personal stuff: a Paladin, Hookbill, Cerberus, Comet, etc.  The Test Logistics department changed their pants after their initial shock, then decided that they would auction off all of his stuff (easily identified by being expensive and easy to haul) to pad out the alliance reimbursement wallet.

IMAGE OF STUFF

The logistics department was gracious in their gloating.  I honestly would have been tempted to take it a step further and try to bilk him out of more isk by claiming he didn't put enough on contract for the courier contract before cracking the plastic seal.

From: DJ Rubbie
Sent: 2012.08.31 07:20
To: Dreddit, Dave06,

Can I have your stuff?

OH WAIT, WE ALREADY HAVE THEM

Good job Dave06.  You made TEST look competent!

[name_1]
Bagehi began playing Eve in 2003 briefly, then returned in 2006. He has been part of IAC, NC, SoCo, and HBC during that time. He has a thing for history, but mostly spends his time IRL in a corner office, staring at financial reports, like a MMD.