GSF CEO Update: The South Explodes

Avatar
Uncertainty is fun. :)As in: When you /know/ you'll win, is it fun?
Avatar
07 It's my hat m8, i am famous,Drunk kugu poster signing in.......
Avatar
Sounds like some good action in the south.Stagnation is bad. I don't know how those up north tolerate it as much as they do.
Avatar
I for one welcome a return to the normal conditions in the south: endless backstabbing, fractured loyalties, who the fuck even knows what's happening, Mad Max style roving gangs of psychotic destruction, the whole Game Of Thrones On Meth bit.brb moving my stuff to an NPC station
Avatar
We tolerate it by keeping jump clones in NPC stations in the south, and importing throw-away ships to roam in, duh.If people are too scared to bring the fight up north, nobody is going to complain. You don't necessarily want things to be hot where your ratters and pvers are anyway (come to deklein and kill our ratters please)
Avatar
In before Goons accidentally all of Querious.Or on purpose.
Avatar
Apropos to insist upon the second 'i' in 'minutiae?'
Avatar
Give me warp ins!
Avatar
That you tube link is literally the funniest shit I've seen in years. Thank you for that.When the goons are about pride in being bad - why does it come as no surprise that they are "bad"?If you read that question and thought I was being negative towards the goons then you don't understand AT ALL. This lifeblood of this game is conflict and destruction as best described by Gary Oldman in the 5th Element just before he almost chokes to death. It provides the rest of us cowards with our game. The goons are Zen masters of the perfect purity of chaos. When the rest of us worried about the stagnating effects of peace, the goons went out there and took action. Not only have they taken the obvious step of beginning the re-uniting the various goons species process, the fukkers have found and laid the "blame" at their own book repository Oswalds just to rub our noses in how good they are at their meta.I can only look on in admiration and dream about playing the same game as them.Goons I salute you, whatever your flavour. You gals and guys rock my Eve :)
Avatar
have you even played eve in the last 2 years? goons sit around blueing anything that could put a dent in them
Avatar
Yes, if they cry. No if not. :D
Avatar
Whats funny is how big of a whore Raiden was for space just a few months ago.
Avatar
tl;dr fuck raiden, lol sort, fuck raiden, fuck raiden, lol tech, and fuck raiden
Avatar
How else can we create a CFC escape/secession plan
Avatar
I, for one, welcome our new old space neighbors.
Avatar
Watching the south explode around us is going to be half terrifying, half electrifying.Purification by fire.Leave not a single ex-A-, self-interested, forty-man Alliance-of-the-Week alive from Catch to Omist.
Avatar
THORN! We must have Querious! Get out get out get outOK Now we don't even fucking want Querious trololol
Avatar
Thunderdome lives again!
Avatar
Ohhh lovely war... I say kill em all and let go... errr.. fuck it i'm not amarrian.. just kill em all. The sorting out will be done later...
Avatar
I won't be surprised, after Razor accidentally IRC. It just happens.
Avatar
Possibly for the last time if you don't start learning how to post.
Avatar
Because ISK.
Avatar
You say, months after we reset Test and even longer since we reset the rest of the HBC.
Avatar
I assume PL not being on the list is simply because they don't live down there at the moment.
Avatar
This will either leave TEST completely isolated (having to abandon TRIBE) and entirely dependent on GSF or it will lead to war between TEST/TRIBE and the CFC.If there was any serious interest in reconciliation from the CFC side, TRIBE would be exempted from the structure shooting.
Avatar
Tribe will always be in our hearts though <3
Avatar
PL is not blue, and they have not broken any structure agreements.
Avatar
you were a retard in test you are a bigger retard in PL
Avatar
your name is Lolo
Avatar
We want to encourage you to kill the HBC leftovers (that have been left over for a little too long).
Avatar
That smug post is EVE online forum gold, is there a way I can like, favourite and subscribe to that one post alone?
Avatar
DUST STUFF CUT FOR OPSEC
Avatar
that will never happen...... because we still need blues to kill :frankfrank:
Avatar
o7 m8m8m8m8m8m8
Avatar
PL is not an existential threat to the CFC and they honor their agreements
Avatar
treaties are for cowards, on with the pew.
Avatar
Yes lets all listen to this anonymous Internet dude and undo everything we build for hes amusement
Avatar
There is no PL.
Avatar
So you're saying the only other entities in Eve that can harm Goonswarm Federation are the other CFC alliances?
Avatar
PL dont live newere there space gypsy ;)
Avatar
Don't worry, Pandemic Legion has kindly agreed to end this stupid war.http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_re...All goons may head back to killing red crosses, situation stabilized, nothing threatens you.
Avatar
Goonswarm has had an "srp" since long before tech was even a thing so you are incorrect.
Avatar
Please provide coherent structured rebuttals, or get the fuck out.
Avatar
Arguably, if Raiden and NCdot could work together effectively they could present a larger threat: I believe their combined supercapital fleet is larger than PL's.
Avatar
What I'm hearing: "Arguably, if [Group A who is terrible at working together with others] and [Group B who is also terrible at working together with others] could work together ..."Huge if there.
Avatar
You don't have to kill everybody around you just to feel safe, there is a philosophy called " live and let live ", it means that if someone or entity is not trying actively to destroy you, you have no reason to try and destroy them, and you can enjoy good fights, most of the people calling for a CFC/PL war are just pyromaniacs that like to watch everything burn.

(Editor's Note: Alliance Updates are intended for an internal audience and should be interpreted by the savvy reader as propaganda.  Also cut out of this hellishly long post are minutae about a Goonwaffe Newbie Drive, a blurb about DUST 514, a party in LA at E3, and various other irrelevancies.)

In the run-up to Fanfest, not much had happened in 'Eve Online, An Oddly Entertaining Game'. To relieve our boredom, we torched Jita again, surpassing the damage of the first Burn with brutal efficiency due to the skills developed by the Ministry of Love over the past year. Glutted on hisec carnage, we waddled happily off to Iceland with the expectation that nothing much would continue to happen until the release of Odyssey in early June. Instead, while Our People and Pandemic Legion together focused on the important life's work of drinking every adult beverage within reach, cavorting with the Reykjavik wildlife, and not sleeping until 7am each morning amidst a relentless week-long liver-destroying hellbinge, Sort Dragon and Progodlegend combined their respective powers of naivete and youthful aggression to abruptly fuck two entire quadrants of the galactic political landscape neatly into a vicar's hat*. 

*We remain eternally in Endie's debt for this stunning masterwork of urbane vulgarity.

Galaxy in Chaos: Sort's Dragons

It was only somewhat Progod's fault, though. Apparently while drunk as a skunk he had insulted Sort Dragon's girlfriend, yet for the rest of Fanfest he was allegedly quite polite. Yet Sort responded to these insults by declaring that the HBC would be off to war against N3 in retaliation, both to defend his girl's honor and because 'we need a war', following in the dearly departed Montolio's footsteps by announcing said war more than two weeks before his actual planned invasion, and all while still marooned in Reykjavik. 

Warning: the rest of this tale reads like the plot of a particularly desperate Brazilian telenovela with far too many characters, none with the slightest respect for a clean, believable fiction. You can just skip past this whirlwind of stupid and go to the next section where we shoot everyone indiscriminately if space politics isn't your thing!  

Perhaps war fever went to Sort's head; it is alleged by TEST that he mouthed off about plans to attack TEST if TEST didn't follow the rest of the HBC to war against N3. I personally witnessed Sort say various such things right in front of a CEO of a TEST corp and not bat an eye. Then, while on live TV, Shadoo informed Sort that Pandemic Legion would be resetting the HBC; by the time everyone had returned from Iceland, Gorga of N3 had given a speech announcing that N3 would only respond to HBC aggression, not preemptively attack, leaving the war-ball firmly in Sort's court. 

Yet Boodabooda, new leader of TEST, was having none of it; incensed with Sort's attitude, he abruptly withdrew TEST from the HBC, which without PL or TEST amounted to Unclaimeddot, EntroPraetorian Aegis, and various other alliances that you've never heard of. It was impossible to keep track of what counted as 'HBC' when Montolio was collecting that corrosive shitpile of pubbies around him, and even less so in these confusing times. 

Now Sort is now in charge of 'whatever is left of the HBC', but that might or might not be controlled by Phreeze of Insidious Empire now (Sort and Phreeze either had a power struggle, or handed things over amicably, and Sort is either still involved or quitting the game entirely, or not - it's hard to keep track each hour), not like it really matters when Angry Russians In Stain (Darkness of Despair) are going to conquer the hell out of the southeast quadrant where -A- once lived.

TEST is led by Boodabooda, who seems alarmingly level-headed and might stick around for longer than the week-ish reigns of Fras and Ingen. TEST is keeping Raiden and Tribal Band blue, but Raiden also just had a leadership change, with long-time campaign commander Kaisur throwing in the towel and possibly quitting Eve; where the previous Raiden administration and TEST got along relatively well, the new one is already demonstrating that classic 'alienate everyone, abandon diplomacy, die friendless' Raiden je ne sais quoi we recall from Tenal. 

There's no point in waiting for things to settle down in the South any longer; we've given up and decided to shoot everything that moves down there and be done with it. 

Head South, Young Man

There functionally is no more HBC, though there might be a few post-HBC entities claiming the name. We have one treaty left in the South, and that's dear old OTEC, which is a bit long in the tooth but still kicking between the CFC, PL and TEST.

That means you can't shoot TEST structures, but literally everything else is fair game in the southwest and southeast. Want to SBU Raiden space to be a dick? Want to moon Tribe? Want to witness the PvP prowess of EntroPraetorian Aegis firsthand? Go hog wild! We no longer give a shit, and apparently neither does PL!

We've sent squads south to Delve to blow up whatever: Freedomsquad, EG and TopGoon are already on a murder spree. The new campaign leader of Raiden was so spooked by the vague war-noises we made over the past few days that Raiden is already evaccing everything they own out of Querious into NPC stations. While we are not actually invading Querious, you never know what kind of stupid crap we'll get up to.  

So get south and get ready to kill stuff. There's ops in every squad in every timezone (and if there isn't, yell at your squad/SIG leaders) and beautiful carnage such as this Friday night killfrenzy to enjoy

The TEST Question

As we've said before, GSF's issue with TEST over the past year can be laid entirely at Montolio's feet. He is gone - besides indulging in the odd bit of passive-aggressive sniping on the forums - and while we are not blue to TEST, we remain friends with them as an entity and at a strategic level. Our diplomatic stance is to try to repair the damage that Montolio did to GSF/TEST relations and sweep all that petty bitter neckbeard crap under the rug. In an ideal world, GSF and TEST will be back to being bros but still shoot each other in chill Caracal vs Talwar slugfests like the one we just had. 

The Future: Grinding Poverty, Odyssey and You

The best financial minds in the galaxy are busy poring over CCP's every move to try to determine precisely how fucked we are after Odyssey. R64s will be buffed - we don't know how much. Production will be altered, but we don't know how or where. Ice Mining is being buffed in null, but fuel prices may or may not spike so much as to render towers of all sorts unprofitable. Technetium is currently at rock-bottom prices due to everyone dumping stockpiles, and will either be rendered completely irrelevant by the aforementioned production changes, or still might be valuable - it is a mystery! 200ish new R64s will be added to the game based on a random seed, but we won't know where until we re-scan all our regions after the patch. 

We remain absolutely committed to wrapping you in the warm blanket of fuzzy, oppressive space socialism after Odyssey, as our highest priority as an alliance is to enable you to lose poorly-fit battlecruisers to the same gatecamp in VFK night after night and never suffer the vaguest sting of loss for your foolishness. How we get there is a mechanical question though, and may require adjustment to our fiscal policies. That may mean nationalizing moons like Thulium and Hafnium, taxing refineries, and various minutiae which put 94% of the alliance immediately to sleep.

Realtalk: It seems like the entire galaxy is rushing to set up renter systems but us. We despise renters, except for Aryth who wants to set up a Realm of Pubbie Exploitation. We might be enriched after Odyssey, we might be completely fucked, we might need to torch Querious and take all of Raiden's R64s (That would be rank madness, conquering a region so far away from Deklein just for its R64s, and this is obviously just a jest. Ha ha!) as a hedge against the uncertainty. We might need only to slightly tighten our belt. Finance is on it, they're smarter than us, and we're going into this patch with our best foot forward - Finance has been planning for Techmageddon for more than a year now. 

Goonswarm Federation CEO, Space Tyrant. Likes yoga, Alaskan Malamutes, bacon, and delegation.