"But you have heard of us" - TEST MilDir Update

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You mean that 2100 PL dudes are at the tourney ?Or with the next Vince Draken state of the alliance to wipe the CFC of the map ?Nah cant be that...Can you tell us we are dying to wait what it is !!!!
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What would you prefer though? Them to come out and fight no matter what the odds and you get some kills and maybe reinforce a station (depending on outcome, not saying who will win)? Or have them stay docked and you just sit bored in your ships on a titan or just shooting a station?
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Semantics... You make it sound like CFC told Razor not to install ROGUE, and they just did it anyways, and now they are under no circumstances getting any CFC help...
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Losing fleets for no reason is actually one level down from retarded.
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to be fair prolly all the PL fc's and "dudes to get shit done in general" are doing the tourney. That will tie op the other 2100 ppls. wether or not they will be enough to turn the tide I have no idea
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They may still get Razor help, as they're the friends of ROGUE. That being said, the Fountain war would pretty much have to be over.
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In the CFC there are no morals.
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No, its just facing the reality that its extremely tough to fight battleship doctrine vs battleship doctrine when you're outnumbered.Prophecies and AHACs both tear megas apart.Being cheaper is just a plus
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I think it wasn't that much, never ever, I think it was 90B max.
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CAN they even make it 2 weeks lose 3-10 systems a day?
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Except for the part where the CFC helped Razor evict IRC...
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Far as I can tell Prophecies get shredded by megas pretty handily as well.
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If you tell a small lie, few people believe it.If you tell a big lie, many people believe it.If you tell an outrageously hilariously stupendously gigantic lie, no-one believes it.
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At least AHACs and Prophecies will be better than the noob ship gang and bombers they sent to defend PNQY tonight. No prizes for guessing how that one went down.
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Thorn Alliance used this gimmick over a year ago. And it wasn't new or clever then :P
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Dear test line members: we're going to throw all your remaining ships into a fire to defend the region containing Baki's personal r64s. Keep donating to the alliance and we might even reimburse some of them. If there's anything left not stolen by disaffected directors.
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Yet everyone believes 750b which is hilariously outrageous.
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Что уже сливаетесь? Ну ладно. Мы вас вечно помнить будет. Луны ваши к рукам приберем. А вы идите туда, куда сами посылали - на парашу.
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Really? People believe it?Well, I guess it takes a hilariously outrageously stupid person to believe that. Never underestimate the power of stupidity.
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The only reason that it's the teeniest bit believable to begin with is that the CFC probably does has a war chest of that size, and have managed to somehow (gasp!) keep it from being robbed. Incredible.
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Yes
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пьют водку, свет собакоподобных, судно Перейти капитала
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That's the number n3 and TEST keep throwing out.
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интернет делает тебя глупым ;)
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Even if they trade 2 to 1 the Prophecies win/break even.
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Trading 100 prophecies for 50 megas is a trade any FC would take. There will still be 100 more Megas on the field taking the objective while the "winning" prophecy pilots are taking the pod express home.
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They can go 3:1 if you are talking about ISK efficiency.
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Considering it's a public post, his spy network is top-notch.Good call FC.
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I fully agree! The CFC should blueball them in 6VDT, while re-enforcing everything else.
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That was more of an accidental eviction. We liked IRC as they always put up a fleet to brawl
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I always got the impression the group Vince likes dunking more than any other is Razor so I think he'd like that.
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You'd be hard pressed to find someone in TEST who can provide any more than the following:Question > "Your thoughts on Ingen Kerr?"Member > "Who?"
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Everyone knows it was really 750 trillion ISK, which Elo Knight then RMT'd to pay for a sweet condo for Wicked Princess. Or maybe he just used it on some blow in Vegas. It is a mystery.
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If it was an accident, why didn't you give it back?Unless, of course, it was one of those "that worked better than we thought" things.
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The only thing Google Translate made clear was something about vodka, cyno's, and the Internet making one stupid. I say that Google Translate is stupid.
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Unbelievably stupid. They are going to run the alliance into the ground. At this point, fountain is lost. We should be looking to pull out so we can still defend the rest of our space. Instead we are going in for a welp, so we will have nothing left to defend with. RETARDED, bring back Beffah.
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Well it certainly wouldn't have been more than the cost of the caps that were saved.
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At this point I'd believe you if you told me that mittens had actually written it using an alt.
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They are gonna get curb stomped no doubt. Hats of to them for creating content, remembering it's a game and showing up.
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Im trying to work out if there is TEST people this stupid and ill-matched to TESTs culture or id the CFC just does this to try and get people to abandon the alliance.
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They exist in TEST. Remember all the people that said Montolio was wrong...
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Which testie are you, the left one or the right one?
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It must suck to be the other 2090 PL dudes right now.
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The CFC accidentally all of the IRC.
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Uhm, a smart alliance would realise fountain is already lost and re-stage ships, (no TCU's and I-HUBS LOL) in Delve to defend what space they have left
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Why would the CFC tell Razor what they could or couln't do in Drones?
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750 bil may be a high mark, but needless to say CFC has paid a significant amount of isk hiring BL not to shoot them.
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LOL THIS ^^^ !
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There was no one around to give it the space back to. We played a little rough and IRC got all scared and collapsed.
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Hurf blurf
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How much do you outnumber them by?
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You have single handedly outsmarted the top leaders of your alliance. Congratulations sir
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hahahahahahaha that would have been excellent "sorry mate I think you dropped your region"
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They are posting publicly that they will show up and fight no matter the cost or opposition. This looks like baiting to me. Maybe TEST has set up some grand engagement by multiple parties to try to turn the direction the war has taken. If I were the CFC leadership, I would be planning in great detail for this situation. No one expects TEST to do anything smart, but I wouldn't put it past them to set up one big fight to try to show up the CFC, even if only for temporary glory.
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Yup so far its hard to gues what will happen to Delve.Fact is that Test finance is about to collapse, any null sec alliance knows this.There are many sharks in Eve smelling a wounded fish....Instead to heal up and refund as much as posible to fight another day, Test leaders still dint learn shit....Welp Test alliance into the ground Booda, keep going bro we all know how brilliant you are.Is there a way to make a coup and kick that retard from the throne ?
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Goons have to many spy's to fall into such trap.But hey they can always hope for miracles :)
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Crimes against Humanity.
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What exactly does Fountain have to do with PL again?
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Also add to request Jayne: Ingen Kerr has "no stomach for spin"
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Everyone is aware of our numbers. Nobody told them to engage CFC, or mess up the love that was there. Nobody told them to disband HBC. Where are their friendos ? TRIBE has funny numbers compared to their official count....It is the little thing that nobody likes to hear, but they matter a lot. TEST went to a headless conflict with one policy: fuck CFC. This never worked, ask NC., Nulli, Raiden and the others.
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Id rather die in a fire then lay down under another.
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Because independence is frowned upon. Remember, it was a a couple proactive alliances poking Russians that started the Northern Coalition's last war.
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Fun is a reason. It's pretty much why some people play this game, too.
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Not when the system you were defending is gone at the end of the day... derp.
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I hope all of TEST isnt as dumb as you, though you might actually enjoy FW
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Updating clones is hella fun bro! Who wants to scatter like cocroaches when a fleet lands on grid! ~Good Times~
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Lets not forget the "and shoot test" part of that.
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Its insane.The FCs always seem to know where and how many TEST pilots are sitting on a Titan, waiting to pounce on us. As a Fwedditor who is not used to this kind of infrastructure I'm very impressed!
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Wait wait. You think it's stupid to want to have some of the alliance still in one piece after fountain is lost? We've been hit by thefts, we've effectively lost our allies and CFC are RFing everything. To throw our remaining ships into certain death seems like a way to show us going down in a blaze of glory. But I'd much rather go the live to fight another day route.With timers and such it will take CFC probably a couple of weeks to finish fountain uncontested. If we pull back now, we can use that couple of weeks to regroup, put together some better strategies and put up a decent defensive in Delve. If we simply lose all of our ships in fountain and fight to the last day, Delve will be an impossible fight.Our leaders are too caught up in the idea of fighting to the death in fountain, and should instead be considering the continuation of our alliance. If we don't care about the continuation of our alliance, why are we fighting at all?
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It's still not isk efficient if the strategic objective isn't achieved. When you sacrifice effectiveness (i.e. successful defense) for killboard efficiency, I would still call it inefficient through ineffectiveness. Even if you can say "oh they lost twice as much isk," it doesn't matter at the end of the day because instead of taking heavier losses and holding the field, you lost the field while still taking losses (i.e. you would have been better served isk wise not showing up)
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I haven't checked the exact size of fountain, but previous campaigns have put us at a rate of about a month to take a region that is virtually uncontested. I imagine this has some combination of making sure logistics doesn't commit suicide due excessive TCU/SBU/POS spam along with not wanting to grind through too many structures in one sitting.
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perhaps you should stop being a piece of shit alliance with pathetic turnout then thats my advice
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sounds like a failure of diplomacy and motivationcontrary to popular belief, being outnumbered does not make you better, it just makes you less liked
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Yeah amazing good call. It projected the image into the mindset of all your members "shit all our fountain stations are insecure, we better not stage there, they might already be counted as lost". A highly effective psychological move I must say.But some people are just better at setting themselves up for failure. We love to let them do so.For all the sperg of kicking CFC out of null sec and all that, we at least have staged for the entire war out of null-sec, showing our members on all levels how secure and determined we are. Maybe a little hint from the pro-book for your next endavour, eh?
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I was there. First CCP announced that the drone regions were going to finally be worth something. Then goons and friends that started (afk and not afk) camping all the systems, with numbers higher than the systems normally had online. This shut down production. Then they provided the muscle for the key stations. Accidently my ass. It was planned and well executed. I don't know why you won't take credit for it...unless you don't want to be seen as a bully or something.
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You're right, it's significant. But what did TEST get in return for their 130B ISK? Nothing.
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The real irony is that there are more CFC assets stuck in that station right now than TEST.
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TEST's outlook is surprisingly good. We've got each other. We've got our stuff out of nullsec. We can go and do anything we want to right now. We can run small gangs, fuck with the locals here in Aridia, possibly go East, maybe harass Goon ratters, and do something more fun than shooting structures.But you know why you're not seeing that slope that you so desperately want to see?It's because we're still having fun together. We still like each other. And nothing you can do or have done has stopped us from having fun at this game. We fight, We welp, and we reship, and just shrug our shoulders and move on. Like we always have since the beginning.But I'm sure that in 24 hours, which is how long it takes for roles to drop, I'm SURE tommorow you'll get your slope, right? Right???
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Sounds about right to me.
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Maybe you shouldn't have coat tailed on every single war versus CFC in the north alongside blues who saw no value in keeping you alive once you had served your purpose.
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It certainly will be interesting to see the realisation dawn on TEST's face that PL isn't coming to save them at all and the tourney was a handy excuse.
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I think you were looking for "morale" there bro.
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Prophecyfleet is a face-saving measure as much as anything - a one-trick gimmick doctrine which allows TEST to lose fights repeatedly but come out with "well you see we actually won because of our ISK efficiency ratios hurpa derp durr" rationalisations.Since the modern incarnation of TEST is chock full of mouth-breathing, kool-aid-drinking, j4g publords who lap up whatever horseshit you serve up in front of them, it's actually a pretty useful doctrine to field.
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Sounds like when people said RA paid 500B for a region. Someone said it so it must be true....
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Of course everything N3 says is the truth. N3 never breaks deals and does not lie is the word on the street.
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You want to say that CFC is breaking out the cash and screaming " I`m rich bitch " ?
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Thanks for that. Seem TEST forums access is a gift that keeps on giving.
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It was more like Rogue made a deal with RAZAR and it was outside the scope of the CFC as a whole. That side of the map is of no interest to CFC I am told. IRC was going into RAZAR space shooting the place up. So RAZAR crossed the border and took 1/2 the region. At the same time ROGUE makes a deal with RAZAR to screw over IRC who had moved 1 region over to have ROGUE take their spot next to RAZAR. At Least this is how it was all told to me as it was going on. If there was other deals I am unaware.
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RAZAR acted on their own.
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More complex than that. It was the anti Slavic names and terms that N3 now does. That Russian people eat dogs, the women make great hookers, That Russians are shit. That North coalition does not exist anymore. I would not be surprised if it is the same people within N3 who were in the NC in the past doing the same thing. Good luck as our comrades will awaken soon once the cold winds begin to blow.
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Not an Accident. RAZAR invades IRC space. IRC make deal to switch space with ROGUE. ROGUE does suprise buttsex on IRC as they try and get the space promised by ROGUE. If I recall owing IRC about 20B that was never paid for all ihubs and TCUS. Giving IRC the middle finger on that too. Just what I was told many months ago.
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To be fair to your leadership you made a very strong attempt to take 4-e on several occasions, and actually succeeded in knocking j5a back to test sov once. The problem is once it became clear that n3st would be unable to contest important timers in eu/us tz it became impossible to take those (or any) systems back. Once the cfc proved what baltecfleet could do to dominixes in z9pp and 3we and once we proved that we could reach slowcat killing critical mass of subcaps the war was effectively won because your main weapons were proved inadequate. Your collective leadership realized this and so didn't form supers for 9-v and seeing 90 dreads drop on you in your 'strongest' tz without any reaction from your vaunted super fleet badly hurt morale and caused your allied leadership to realize that staying from this point on would only make them look bad and the problem with the elitist image is you cant be seen to lose an even fight, which when you look at coalition numbers, this actually was. http://raynor.cl/eve/coalition... n3+rebels less say 5k worth of the dudes who stayed home from n3 vs CFC.
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We really don't need to know one way or another what anyone who plays Eve looks like.
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So you know who he is, but nobody else does?
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A lot of us old school goons still have fond memories of the Russians from the old Redswarm days
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Imitating the site owner... super clever idea.
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Right where you wanted us.
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The fact is, TEST lost fountain as soon as they fled and started staging out of low sec. They managed to talk a lot of shit and spew a lot of propaganda during the first few weeks but that has severely declined as the active members have hemorrhaged from their alliance. Fountain is just a mop up operation for the CFC now, it wasn't very difficult to get this far for the CFC but test are broke, their "allies" aren't in fountain fighting and paying their bills for them and their leadership has decided to downgrade to battle cruiser doctrines which don't work.. but hey at least they cheap.TEST alliance needed to stay in the protective egg of the CFC for a lot longer, they are like a newly hatched turtle getting stamped on by a 4 year old child
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Prophecies are good at inflicting losses on Battleship doctrines while being fairly inexpensive themselves and covered well by insurance. They have to get fucked over pretty badly to not win the ISK war (it still happens because :TEST:). That's frankly as much as you can ask from putting a Battlecruiser hull up against a proper strategic fleet.Unfortunately, TEST isn't in a position where throwing efficient trades at the CFC and then losing the strategic objectives is going to accomplish anything. Can the Prophecies kill some Megas? Sure, but not more than we were already prepared to lose engaging a stronger fleet, and the CFC isn't the alliance that needs to worry about its finances in this conflict.
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Whatever's left of TEST will be laying down under N3 once Fountain falls, so you'll get to do both!
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I'm sure all the leadership calling for the glorious last stand will be right there in their most expensive ships alongside the line members and certainly won't all suddenly remember an Urgent Real Life Thing they have to attend instead.
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Yeah, because staging inside of Fountain ended so well for IT Alliance against the CFC, right?
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Wasn't soco using that same arguement this time last year?
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They gave up showing when the goons pussied out of flying anything other than bombers. Of course, once they stopped showing, you finally realised you could field fleets again and came back with a vengeance. Especially with PL & N3ST distracted elsewhere.Goons have taken advantage of this, TEST has dropped fleet numbers quicker than a fat kid chomps down a cake, making your job a lot easier.Whether this marks the end of TEST's chapter in Fountain remains to be seen, but they need a lot of work and the help of their allies to stop the rot. After all, a 30,000 coalition v an 11,000 alliance is always going to favour the coalition. Will the goons still sing the same song once (if) N3ST and PL are back to even the odds? Only time will tell. If TEST can hold Fountain that long.
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Who?
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Jesus. Obviously.

(Editor's Note: Alliance Updates are aimed at internal audiences and usually are considered the gospel truth by their membership but vile propaganda by everybody else. You should definitely know this by now. This is a TEST Military Update from newly-installed Military Director Ingen Kerr)

Compliments of Jack Lo from this post. I cannot begin to explain how perfect this is.

It seems I've inherited a house on fire.

With NCdot off in the east, and the threat of their supers gone with them, Goons and co. have gone on an RF'ing spree. I’m sure I don’t need to reiterate what you all already know. They've taken about a third of the non-NPC space in the region and plenty of the rest is reinforced, including the ancestral homeland of TEST, 6VDT.

I’m not much for speeches and I’ve no stomach for spin. I’ll keep this to the point.

Doctrines

As of right now, we have three doctrines.

  1. Prophecies
  2. AHACs
  3. Bombers (of the goku, regular cloaky bomber, and torp varieties)

Rokhs and Foxcats we're keeping in our pockets in case the time comes when they'll be useful, but don't expect many pings for now. Shit like Talwars and Thrashers are obviously awesome and super cool. I'm not listing them because they're not a strat op doctrine (by themselves) but they obviously own and we can and should do great shit with them. Also, the above three doctrines include Blackbirds and Celestes of course. Never not EWAR.

The Return of the Dread Cache

I woke this morning to find two contracts in Karan which contained fourteen fitted dreadnoughts. So we once again have a dread loaner cache. Whenever we take out dreads, loaners will be available. I think there’s an info graphic floating around somewhere about the procedure for checking them out. It’s pretty simple in any case.

The Bigger Picture

So NCdot decided to haze ROGUE, an alliance that the CFC installed as a buffer in the drones. They've also finishing stomping down the umpteenth time SOLAR has tried to sneak back into relevance. The folks living down south are, well they’re shooting each other and nobody else much cares. Closer to home, there’s apparently some friction between BL and the CFC. Not sure exactly how it will pan out, but one thing is clear: the true winner of this war is Elo Kinght. He’s taken 750 billion ISK from Goons (plus however much they've paid out to reimburse his losses) and he’s had free rein to shoot them at the same time. Yo Booda, maybe we’re doing this alliance thing the wrong way.

6VDT-H - July 28, 19:44 Eve

If this update were posted a day ago, this is where I’d tell you about the longer term plan, the orders I’ve given to our FCs to run regular ops in EU and US timezones, how we would respond to the CFC’s recent gains and the plan for pushing them back. But we've got a more immediate concern. On Sunday, right in the middle of EU and US timezones, the 6VDT station exits shield reinforce. I don’t have to tell you the significance of this station. You can be sure the CFC knows it too.

Here’s the game plan: We’re forming and under no circumstances are we standing down. If we are outnumbered 50:1, still we’re going in. We've been told that forming for this timer is stupid, that this is exactly what the CFC wants us to do, that we are—to turn a phrase—exactly where they want us.

A smart alliance in our situation—12,000 facing off against three times that number—would probably look for other options. But we are not a smart alliance. We’re TEST. This is what we do.

Get your Prophecies, your AHACs, and your armor logi ready to go. Newbros, polish up your Blackbirds and your Celestes. Duders with special ships, check your respective channels. And get ready for a big goddamn brawl.

Occasionally we publish submissions from outside of our dedicated staff. This one was good enough to pass muster! Feel free to send us quality pieces via the 'Contact Us' box.