The Nature of Tears

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I never provide tears. It's a fucking game, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, deal with it.Also, Rixx Javix, I know you are reading this, you killed me when I was a newbie miner once. I was mad for awhile. Now I'm in null PvP-ing daily (not because of you, just a natural progression), but it's time for some sweet, cold-hearted revenge. I am coming for you.
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"In the game of Internet Spaceships, you win, or you Cry"
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I miss Hulkageddon
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I don't understand the commodity of the tear. Sure it can be funny, like watching someone trip, but I think people try too hard to say "tears". Best thing to do is let them flow, allow that pilot to vent his frustrations and anger. Once you start pushing, that cryer will smarten up and you just devalued the situation and short changed yourself.Maybe it's just the nature of this generation. Oh how I miss the good old days of proper surgical extractions of tears (from other games, Eve is kind of... homogenized with it's tears and needs a better caliber to be honest).Open world pvp in other MMOs (Everquest is an example) and "killstealing" is a very good source of tears.In Eve, the equivalent would be maybe a ninja salvager in a mission. But even then that's mild once you've been canflipped for the first time.
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Great article! And for the carebears that will no doubt cry about this article, how about stop being an entitled bitch then adapt and overcome. You may actually have fun then.
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reads like its written by james himself .. almost only miners are described as tear-producer. But i can tell u that most of all miners give a...(just my experience) 0.0-inhabitants and pvp'lers are more drama queens than anyone in high sec !
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How do you cause tears to the ganker? You be polite. You say GF or nothing at all.Or if you are James315 you go punch a Kitten as well.
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I'm still not sure which type of tears are the tastiest. I guess I'm the guy that poors them all in to a blender and enjoys the cocktail of tears.
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Its a shame can-flipping has gone away. That was my biggest source of upsetting people and introducing them to game mechanics. Although I do love the people who tell me that "we dont tolerate scammers in eve" I like them.
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yep, I got ganked on a low sec run. Told the dude "good job" he was so pissed he put a bounty on me as well. IMO if you catch me and kill me, good job. Trust me I would do the same to you if I can. Its a game and you take your risks. People have tried to scam me or make me pay a ransome laughter is always a good response. If you never fly nothing you can't afford to lose then the tears are not happening. I was popped an ex-red who showed nuet on my over view instead of being upset I talked to him to figure out what I did wrong. Turns out it was just a total failure of a lot of things. No hard feelings, no tears, just another day in null (the nice part was killing him sometime later that month with a mining barge trap). or how about running rancer in shuttle and empty clone? the joy of watching tens of millions of smart bombs going off to kill your 1 mil clone uprgrade and 25K shuttle is priceless. Seriously if every noob ran rancer once a day in a shuttle their income would be so bad they would have to drop the blockade lol.
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best tears are from alliance leaders who you have trixored into failcascade. mmmmmm
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No, if a mining barge GF'd me after exploding I'd laugh pretty hard. I'd respect them a little bit more, but no way I wouldn't be entertained.
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I will be waiting in the ice sites in my scorpion ready to harvest ganker tears
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Concerned that an author of an article on suicide ganking and awoxing is in our corp :P Just make sure you shoot Gray
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I find Gankbear tears even more amusing, a Gankbear is someone who crys because they canot get easy kills to improve their epeen. A good example is people who got upset because mining ships now have a tank that is better than a wet paper bag, another group of gank bears are those that used to gank people in 0.0 in Stealth Bombers solo, now they cry because the rats target them, boo hoo, I find those tears much better!
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Extreme case: Tornados. What are you going to do then? Say you're defending people by jamming them after the deed is done?
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Concord does the heavy lifting i just jam and neut them
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After they fire once, their job is done, you can jam and nuet them all you want.
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If you put out best possible tornadoes youd get about 14k alpha, a procurer typically has 50k ehp, you would need 4 tornadoes minimum to kill one of my miners in one shot, which is just not cost effective
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But gankers don't cry.
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Which is why any decent ganking group uses either a bunch of cheapo catalysts or just don't gank procurers and gank the more expensive no tank shit
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complaining about complainers
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sounds like you're pretty mad to me, which equals tears. Q.Q
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"When a toddler is hurt, they cry for attention from their mothers. When a carebear is ganked, they cry for attention from their kin and CCP. "And when game mechanics change, these idiots whine for paragraphs on tmc, reddit, or any other shithole where they can pretend that they're being anything more than a 5 year old bullying a toddler because "I wanted to".
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Your point? Jamming a Tornado once it has already fired is still pointless. If they were not going to gank a barge because it's a procurer than having a jamming scorp on standby to whore onto the nonexistant tornado killmails is even more pointless.
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Honestly... I'm half convinced CCP has gotten into the tear collecting business itself.
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This article creates the impression that only carebears create tears - but some of the sweetest tears come from ~elite pvpers~ who just made acquaintance with your Falcon alt or had a 30 man gang warped on their heads.
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On comms maybe, but they don't send you a mail bitching about it afterwards and then file a half dozen petitions.
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The best tears, I've found, come from the tear farmers.
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Oh man, yes they do, and it's sweet, sweet salty tears.
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QQ is a crying emote, I believe.
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Sorry, I lost you at the first line. Could you start again?
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I meant _moral_ justification. Like in the real world, the benefits of war are reaped by few. The grunts need to have another reason for blowing up ice miners.
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Ah, i see :) I'm not sure you would need a moral justification for it, especially in a game where the underlining theme of the game is PvP. Everyone, in my opinion, is going to come across some form of aggression in the game at one point or another, you just have to learn and adapt and if someone comes along one day and hits you with a big stick, go out, and get a bigger stick to hit them back with. This isn't a game for the sensitive, after all. If things like getting ganked upsets some people, then they should really go and play something else, or seek therapy.
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Well, people need a bit more than that, even in a video game. James's campaign was a good example, he provided a convincing reason for ganking that went beyond just the fun of destruction (and tears). A strong conviction of "righteousness" is required to keep grunts in line.
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Brave Newbies are taught to not cry over expending ships ... they are merely ammo.You seem to think ships are important. Clealy Sir, you should be a great source of tears.
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A nado gank would only get one procurer before popping with or without jams.... I'm not sure what your point is.
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I dunno about the guys you run into but I end up chatting with the dudes that kill me half the time.
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I agree!
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Kuku means 'weep' in Chinese
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It's really hard to take you seriously when you call yourself a tear producer, like you're a medicine for dry eyes or something.
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What I don't get about this game is that it's clearly a predator-prey dynamic, so why the hell are players voluntarily signing up to be prey? It seems like a terrible fucking game to invest any time in, particularly if you go in alone without the backing of the major, established power blocs.
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FUCK this game, and fuck you!
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The best tears are, and will always be; Grath of Pandemic Legion losing his shit when that Revenant died.
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I guess sometimes common sense isn't so common.
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The best tears are generated in FW. They whine and cry about "U STOL MY LP U NEWB!" and then try to shoot an ally. It gets better when the other side can't fight back properly so they have to get their pirate friends to drop in with T3s. *cough* Minmatar *cough*.
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Nice reply. Looks like the guy hit the nail on the head.
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See, the thing is, Procurer/Skiffs are actually pretty rare to find, despite the fact that they can fit a brick tank and still bring in a respectable yield. The bulk majority of miners fly the paper thin Retty/Covs, and don't even bother to throw a DCU on half the time. Which is why all the miner tears are so hilarious nowadays. They have an easy solution to suicide ganks, and yet they choose to ignore it.
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Your tears, they are delicious!
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You forgot the best kind of "tears"; those that leet-PvPers produce when you hot drop them with logi/more people/better fleet/whatever that makes them bite the dust. Having a leet-PvP:er scream "you blobbers!" in local five minutes after their fleet of 5 bravely chewed a miner in half is satisfying. The irony is probably lost on them.Ganking and messing with highsec dwellers is an easy way to get a reaction. Try to make PvPers cry. Those are the best tears.
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Contrary to popular belief, QQ is not a set of crying eyes. It actually originated with the advent of Warcraft II. On battlenet, you could press ALT+Q+Q to immediately exit the match and program. Thus the term "QQ" was to tell people to just quit because they are unskilled. The term later developed and lost it's origin and is usually mistaken as crying eyes.In contemporary gamer culture, QQ has become the mainstream emoticon for crying eyes, though it is still often used in it's traditional sense."Shut up or QQ!" "Why don't you QQ, noob?"
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Imagine a universe where all mining stopped. I think then, the gankers may be satiated. No trit, no ships. No trit, no tears.
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The Pirate Factions seem to have secret rock belts 'cause there's always new rats to gank & loot, & loot means trit.
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*buys more catalysts*
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Article misses the mark by a mile. Some of the best tears are produced not by miners, but by "elite" pvpers. And the best tears by far come from those who seek to collect tears themselves. They don't make "I quit" posts on forums or endless petitions, but they do have a quality of their own. Often they take the form of very serious and elaborate proposals of changes to be made to the game, to ensure they can continue to harvest tears as risk-free as possible.
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...kindred spirits with that lovely community at ask.fm...
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My first kill was in a retriever.
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when the loot fary says no then its a little hard, but we make isk like water, so we will be just fine vOv
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Some tears are sweeter than others - goon tears are the best in game and, when they do QQ, it is usually in tsunami like proportions.
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Imagine a universe where mining is actually worth doing because the all the afk and bot miners have been ganked.
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You still see people jetcanning with hulks, saw one the other day. I was tempted to log on my gank alt...
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I got ganked a few weeks ago, in an industrial with to much isk in cargo. So I gave the guy a gf, and convod him for info on how he locked me so fast - before I knew it he got angry and started providing tears. He said stuff like "arent you fucking crying. I have been waiting for five hours for a gank like this." And "You suck, the only thing you got isk ISKs and now I have your isk." I was polite about it and it got even worse with stuff like "GF OUT BITCH"I felt smug, especially when I looked at the killmail - I dropped almost nothing; he´s tornado did not pay for itself.
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I was ganked while I was in a hulk - semi-afk mind you, with drones set to aggressive and I survived without even going to armor. Best kill I've gotten so far. :DNot had a funny loss yet so can't judge on that one...
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this is a shitty article that doesn't have anything useful to say
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Proof read much?
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Don't be silly, we all know perfectly well that if James315 wrote this it would be 12 pages long - I see only one page, QED.
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Haha that last paragraph is just awesome.
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Overall rating - Meh. Some of your other articles have not been bad. The spelling and grammar are relatively free from mistakes. But the topic is all in all pretty meh. Sorry.Just smacks to much of "look at me hubris" with no real purpose other than to make"more words"about the various flavors of bear versus non-bear (even though they are terribly subjective in their own right).
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I fail to see the revenance.
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Too soon? Shut up you pussy.People die daily - man the fuck up about it.
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Sean Smith <33333333
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A rather juvenile issue to be concerned with, actually. Might I suggest burning bugs under a magnifying glass? Might keep you busy and happy for hours.
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Ganker tears are the tastiest. :)
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Our ~ISK efficiency~ backbone.
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Really? I thought it's Hokkien for a certain part of a man's anatomy.
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Of course we will get back at you for refusing to fight. Besides, sitting in a PLEX occasionally generates combat so there really isn't too much of a reason to bug.
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I think CCP welcomes petition...for entertainment value.
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I think I saw a killmail generated by a Battle Procurer once.
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You see to assume that everyone has a working moral compass or some deeper meaning or motive. Perhaps you need to go outside a bit more or read newspapers. You will then see that some people do bad things for the lulz.
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People die daily? Ah so its common occurrence and therefore perfectly acceptable to joke about?Interesting mindset you have there.
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That's how I learned most about the game, casual chats with whoever just turned my ship into an expanding ball of debris, most have been nice guys to talk to, in fact I have 2 out of 4 of my noob-days gankers still on my friend list.Then again if they hadn't turned out to be cool there is no way I would still be playing this game. You have to be careful about how people new to the game see things.
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I try not to let my tears escape, instead I keep them in a box tagged with the name of the person that caused them. When I have some PvP skillz I will take great pleasure in having my revenge!
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And we have a winner of the biggest arsehole prize!
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tubrug1....you're a griefer. sorry man.
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LOL I love it.Video, so we can all watch!
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Kuku means pussy in Turkish
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Maybe I am.
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This is a shitty comment that doesn't have anything useful to say.
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What part of it is wrong?
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People take EVE far too seriously, and forget that it's a game. Look, I'm training right no, but don't have the patience or time to go on fleets for the time being, so I may catch shit for being less-active. Guess what? It's a game, not an obligation.
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Why do I feel as if you just described 75% of EVE's player-base...
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Read paragraphs 8 and 14.
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And 12..
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This article about tears is actually creating tears right here in the comments! Bravo TUBRUG1!
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Laugh at life maybe, not use their death as the basis for a fairly shit joke.
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Yea I dabbled in Lineage and L2 a bit. Had some fun stuff you could do, but the variety was lacking. Aion had a lot of fun meta with some of the bigger events, but the straightforward pvp was infinitely more fun as you took a rift to the other side and ended up in newbie land just terrorizing the locals. But then that gets stale after a bit because of class balancing being a bit different mechanic wise.

Ever since Eve was launched, there have been people who feel they have been violated by other players and the game mechanics they use. Usually, people will contain their frustration, but occasionally some will let others know of their anger. Thus, tears are born.

Considered to be a valued commodity by those of many different play styles, 'tears' are generally defined to be the thoughts and comments of an angry player. They come from all corners of space, producing a wide range of insults depending on how the player has been displeased. A nullbear in Providence may be enraged by the presence of an AFK cloaker in a system. When he tells the AFK cloaker his feelings about this interruption to his play style in an aggressive manner, tears are created. A member of Test who recently lost a jump freighter may be riled by CFC members spamming 'nomad pls' in local. He tells them what he really thinks about their coalition - tears are generated.

Tears can have a surprisingly powerful effect. They are perhaps valued most for their entertainment value, and many people will go out of their way to try to obtain the maximum amount of hatred possible. James 315's infamous site is a prime example of the recreational value of tears, relaying the emotional feelings of miners that have been - in their opinion - griefed by other players. The influence they can have is not to be underestimated however; it's believed that many changes affecting highsec in the past couple of years have been brought about by the dissatisfaction miners and other highsec dwellers have experienced. But why don't their counterparts cry?

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MINDSET

Many highsec dwellers believe they are entitled to a risk-free game, a land where they can escape the troubles of real life and relax. Unfortunately, Eve is not the best game for this. Once they discover the peace and tranquility of their own world never actually existed in the first place, they whine to their foes. The person who delivered the space-pixel wound will not despair if he meets the same fate as the mission runner or miner he has just attacked; he understands that, due to the nature of Eve, his ship will eventually expire, and takes steps to prevent the damage this will cause him.

Similarly, a nullsec ratter may believe he deserves a risk-free game as well; after all, he is in his alliance's space where he should be protected. Using local chat, he is able to monitor the system to detect if he is in danger. When this measure fails thanks to the planning and skill of his attackers, he blames anyone and everyone he can, occasionally petitioning CCP. He's promptly laughed at, even by his own alliance members, and told to man the fuck up. So why do people still do it?

A CRAVING FOR ATTENTION

When a toddler is hurt, they cry for attention from their mothers. When a carebear is ganked, they cry for attention from their kin and CCP. "Why should I be victimised in this safe zone for having a different play style? These people must be griefing 10 year olds and CCP needs to stop them" are common thoughts highsec dwellers seem to experience after being exploded. Whether they died because they were mining in a Gallente icebelt in Autumn 2011 or because they were autopiloting a Badger with ten PLEX in its cargohold, the need for support draws them to complain.

More rational players will realise that they're only digging a hole by venting their frustration in local chat. Instead of advertising their tears to the whole system, and in extreme cases the wider Eve community, they will find another way to release their anger. Whatever method they choose is nearly always better, and is less likely to result in the owner of the tears being repeatedly tormented. They may think they are gaining respect with others of their kind, but in reality they are just making a fool of themselves and losing their pride and dignity - if they had any in the first place.

WHY DOES IT HURT US PRECIOUS?

People assault tear producers for a variety of reasons. Occasionally they may hurt their feelings by accident. For example a miner may be offended when the Orca next to him is called a 'pestilent cancer', and he will try to defend the Orca pilot while appearing enraged. Other times tears are a produced as a by-product. The main reward for a lowsec pirate attacking an out of place Skiff may be a killmail, but if the Skiff pilot is unprepared for his loss he will be most displeased. This displeasure normally leads to anger, which may in turn lead to tears.

In the case of the first Gallente Ice Interdiction, the ultimate goal was not to annoy carebears but to increase isotope prices. The logical solution for miners, to move out of the ice belts, would have resulted in very few tears being produced. However the miners will most likely stay in the region, either because they were not aware there was an ice interdiction happening or because 'fuck g00ns'. Thanks to this, the CFC line members, the eager spectators and Goonswarm's finance division all achieved their goals.

Scamming is another activity that can induce physiological distress. Due to the nature of people who fall for isk doubling scams, their tears are likely to be slightly different to those that are produced by carebears and nullbears. Petitioning is generally more common, along with evemailed comments such as "I am petitioning CCP, enjoy your ban. We are not tolerating scammers in Eve Online."

Of course none of this would be relevant if people didn't find tears funny, but thankfully they do. A large proportion of Eve's population will have a good chuckle at some tears. Perhaps it's the ridiculous insults they covey, or maybe the sheer hatred that flows through their words that people enjoy. Whatever it is, it's not likely to be the carebear's theory of 'enjoyers' being "12 year olds who get bullied irl so tey hve 2 take it out in eve on peaceful people".

A NATURAL CYCLE

Tears are produced every day in Eve. Concentrations of tears can appear at different times of the year, corresponding with different events such nullsec wars, Burn Jitas, ice interdictions, and Hulkageddons. These events can involve concentrated losses of isk, assets, and reputation, depending on the nature of the occasion. During these episodes of excitement, some of the most inventive and original tears are forged. Who would've thought that someone would post a thread in General Discussion which contained a letter to CCP stating a basic message of 'I'm quiting because of gewns' spread out over several paragraphs thanks to Burn Jita 2. I'm sure very few people saw that coming.

The Caldari Ice Interdiction, which starts later this month, will be a great opportunity to see some tears being made. Expect general 'y did u fcking gank me kids' tears and 'gewns ruin game' tears, as well as interesting new varieties of tears. Towards the end of the event, look out for "you killed my hulk 8 times, and I even put a tank on it by the 5th time!" Don't be afraid to evemail or even start a conversation with a person like this; you may find it a fountain of merriment.

Next time you see some tears, don't just laugh at them and move on. Analyse the tear, examine the tear, scrutinise the tear. Think of the action that caused to tear to be made, and speculate the reason why the owner of the tears is releasing them to the world. Then thank the crier. Thank him for his contribution to the Eve community.

Tubrug1
The overlord of the Eve Onion and a humble line member of the Brave Collective. You can find me on Twitter at @Tubrug1.