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Published February 20, 2013

Twyn Sets the Scene

I recently received a rather cryptic EVE Mail from someone I had never met regarding the theft of some ships from a wormhole.

Subject: Wormhole Heist story?
From: Oscar Athonille
Sent: 2013.02.16 20:54
To: Twyndyllng,

Just pulled off a heist with some mates in a WH

9 loki 5 prot 5 tengu 4 legion ~15 Bil

Oscar Athonille > oops
Oscar Athonille > my buttons slipped
m oebius > fuck you
Oscar Athonille > i accidentally a ship

It's an intersting [sic] story if you'd like to hear and maybe write about. Got a lot of screenies as well.

Now, my first thought was "I've seen WH battle reports worth more than this heist," but I'm a sucker for a good story, so I replied, and eventually struck up a conversation with the thief himself. A few minutes later, and after clearing it with the editorial staff here at TMC, it was decided. Here is the story of an Adhocracy Incorporated (ADHC) heist, told by the thief himself.

Oscar Tells His Story

(Editor's note: The following story, written by the thief, has been edited for grammar, spelling, and readability.)

My name's Oscar Athonille, and I just stole 15 billion worth of loot from my corp. It’s not as grand a scale as a Titan heist or a bank fraud, but for a five-man team of people I had never met before, it went to plan.

Three days ago, I was having trouble with my corporation, which I had no intention to steal from when I first joined. After realising that the way they functioned wasn’t right for me, I knew I was going to leave. But with all these SMAs left out in the open and I can take the shit, why not leave in style?

At first, I took 800 million worth of modules. They actually escorted me through the fucking WH chains to high-sec so I could sell all of their shit. Whilst out in high-sec selling that loot, I see a bunch of pirates trash talking in Local chat and killing Brave Newbies Inc. Knowing that I wasn’t going to be in my corp for much longer, I wanted to arrange to join another corp ASAP. I convoed a director/faux CEO, whom we’ll call "Zg". Zg did the usual interview shit until I asked him if he could fly an Archon.

A scan of the wormhole's contents (from: http://i.imgur.com/OZnalYC.png).

My corporation had five different POSes, each with capital ships surrounding them. Of course we wanted to go for the big ships, but after discussing the logistics of such a thing, we realized that the warp scramblers would keep us pinned and pop us. Someone even thought of getting PL in on this. However, the more people we had, the more attention we would bring and the smaller the cuts we would get would be, so we kept it quiet, just five people.

In the past week or so, I had been staying up around daytime to see when people were online and what would be the best time to start the heist. It appeared that an hour before downtime was the best time to start. After planning for roughly two hours, we decided we would go into the system in cloaked ships and I would bump out all the T3s. As I am a new player, I couldn’t actually get into many of the ships, so I fit a bumping Stabber to ram the ships at 10 km/s, pushing them outside the shields. The time was arranged and the people were informed. Keep in mind, I didn’t know these people and they didn’t know me either. It was completely based off of trust.

It was time to go. I sat inside the POS, watching my corp chat: 7 people online, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2… Excellent. It's just me and another guy. I called in the fleet and they sat at different planets waiting for me to bump the ships out. It was almost like a menu on TS:

“What ship would you like?”

“I’ll take a Loki.”

“Coming right up.”

Since I was in a WH corp and we had shared hangars, the members appended a call sign to their ship names. So I told my fleet mates some call signs to rename their ships to so as to reduce suspicion. This worked for the most part, and the only other member online hadn’t noticed that there were ships on D-scan going out of the system.

At first, it took me awhile to bump ships out, but after a while I got the hang of it. The ships started spewing out. I’d bump a ship out, and they’d fleet warp to me and grab it, then rinse and repeat. All the while, I have Mumble open, speaking to the only player online, talking about random gibberish and what not. It was all going according to plan … until the only corp member online saw a pod on D-scan. He tried to combat probe down a fucking pod, and at one point he got 87% on the damned thing. He asked me to sit at a planet and wait. I was keying up on both TeamSpeak and Mumble at the same time, so my fleet mates knew what was happening

“Oh he’s at planet XI”

This lasted about 10 minutes until my corpmate gave up and one of the heist members picked up a Loki I had bumped out. Then downtime hit. We didn’t know if anyone was going to be online after downtime. We had already taken about 5 billion worth of ships, so we were pretty happy. But greed is greed, and we wanted much, much more.

In the space of 10 minutes, I started bumping ships out faster than my partners could get in them, then I realised I hadn’t checked fucking corp chat for ages. Nine people online. I hadn’t even realised. I went on comms and asked around, as well as using WHAPP, a wormhole mapping tool that lets you see where most corpmates are. In WHAPP, some can disable the tracking option, which completely slipped my mind. So for the past half hour, there had been corp members online in a POS not five AUs away.

It was getting too risky, so we decided to grab one more ship for each member and then bail. I started bumping them out: Loki, Loki, Tengu, and Proteus. This was when I fucked up. A corp mate warped to the POS, and he saw me mid-fucking bump with all these ships outside the shields and randoms jumping into them.

“Loki O'Grady > wtf?”

The cover was blown. They got in their last ships and fucking legged it. I stayed behind in the POS. Ping! Ping! Ping! The corp forums, Mumble and WHAPP were lighting up in red: “OSCAR IS SELF DESTRUCTING SHIPS AT POS #!” I wasn’t, but I guess stealing them is worse. As a final ‘fuck you’, I eject every single ship out of the SMAs.

Ships, ships, ship everywhere, ejected from the SMA (source: http://i.imgur.com/j5ZQbC0.jpg).

The SMAs giving birth to hundreds of ships is a beautiful sight. The corp is going fucking mental. People are trying to put the ships back in while I just keep bowling into them, sending them outside the POS. The rage in Mumble is hilarious:

Oscar Athonille > oops
Oscar Athonille > my buttons slipped
m oebius > fuck you
Oscar Athonille > i accidentally a ship
Oscar Athonille > i hadnt gone bowling for ages guys sry

It was as big a success as it could’ve been. We got the 15 billion worth of ships and bailed out of the system while they scrambled to clean the mess up. I join my corp's fleet and interject before I get kicked:

Phrobro Phalkenberg > 9 loki 5 prot 5 tengu 4 legion (I also took a fleet tempest and a normal tempest) ~15 Bil
Oscar Athonille > http://i.imgur.com/VFmN8Ay.jpg?1
Blue VanMeer > fffft
Blue VanMeer > this is why we need granular POS roles

After a job well done, we go back to high-sec and start selling the loot. There's one T3 for everyone and two billion ISK on the side. Also, as a little extra, I logged back in to see this in my inbox:

Tears, lovely tears (source: Oscar).

Twyn Comments

That ends Oscar's account. Needless to say, Oscar did much of the work, so I figured I would do what he could not and get a statement from Adhocracy. After chatting with some of the line members, the general consensus was that the cost of the theft was indeed worth less than a fight they had been in earlier that very day. Their official statement was:

[23:20:43] NilZad Berkina > TBH its no biggie... Shit happens. Its why Wh space are pushing for more granular security in POS if CCP ever gets its thumb out of its collective arse

This was something both sides of the story agreed on, actually. You heard them, CCP. Even corp thieves think POS roles need a fix.

Note: Masterful MS Paint censorship added by Twyn; all images credited to Oscar.

Twyn
Pirate, frigate enthusiast, wanderer, and general scallywag. In-game name is Twyndyllng, strike up a conversation anytime, but be warned, I tend to shoot first and then ask a ton of questions later.