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Published November 10, 2012

(Editor's Note: The usual disclaimer about alliance updates applies; they are intended for an internal audience and should be considered propaganda, rather than news.)

 Two weeks ago, we faced a dilemma. Our war in Tribute began in August, and due to a variety of factors covered in exhaustive detail in the last CEO Update, the campaign was at last a real meatgrinding war of the old school. Because of the wear and tear on our line members, I strongly considered calling the war to a halt and not pressing into Vale of the Silent at all, but where most of the directorate was exhausted, our FC Team was bloodthirsty and did not want to stop. We gritted our teeth, informed everyone that the winds of our whims had changed and that we were going to take Vale, and stepped into the breach excepting renewed opposition and another months-long slog.

Instead, I'm writing this.

The mere announcement of our invasion compelled Ev0ke to approach us with an easy deal: 250b for all their sov and 45 tech moons. The products of the moons involved almost pay for the deal itself, and we had 1.5t in the wallet at the time. Once news of the Ev0ke sale broke, any will to resist which remained in NCdot collapsed, and they moved to Geminate - a region we have no intention of going to, as it is too far away strategically for us to safely project force.

Making this war's denouement even more of a back-slapping financial circlejerk (just like the TARP, but with moongoo and neckbeards), GSF promptly re-sold eight former Ev0ke Geminate tech moons directly to NCdot. NCdot changed their remaining Vale sov timers for EU instead of AU to make the mop-up easier for the CFC, and after a lot of congratulatory "gf gf" all around, everyone fucked off out of Vale as fast as they could. NCdot went to the SOLAR vs RA/Gypsy/HBC slapfight, Ev0ke went back to FD-MLJ in Syndicate, and we've begun mopping up structures and parceling out spoils.

Wait, what?

After the bitter trench warfare of Tribute, we essentially just won Vale by announcing that we'd be taking it in a hellish sovgrind, without actually going through the 'hellish sovgrind' part. With the exception of one fight in which Mister Vee dumpstered about 70 NCdot Rokhs at the outset of the Vale campaign, there's been no resistance. Vee, TheAdj, DBRB, Laz, Kilgarth, and the Sky Team have been doing tons of work to make this possible, and meanwhile Sion, Kazanir, Rydis and the GSOL directors have been working overtime on handing over 45 moons and half of a monstrous region from incomprehensible Germans to us.

We've never conquered either Tribute or Vale before, so we can now scratch those two off the steadily-shrinking bucket list of "regions Goonswarm hasn't conquered." Road trip to Immensea, anyone?

Wretched Peace

Within the next four days, the remaining NCdot territory in Vale will be in CFC hands. Continue to show up on strat ops as they are called; once Vale is conquered, strat ops will only be for defensive reasons - defending our existing moons/holdings - until we get bored and go back on the warpath.

We have no intention of either attacking Geminate or getting involved in the current "Basically Everyone vs -A- and Solar Fleet" war as it's presently another uncontested structure grind; this evening is the armor timer in C-J6 but Solar/AAA didn't show up to defend it before. We last went to help defend C-J6 when it was held by Red Alliance /against/ AAA, now it's in Solar hands and AAA is defending it. XIX, our friends, hate SOLAR, yet SOLAR and GSF have sort-of gotten along during the fight against NCdot. The point? Getting involved in Russian politics is like sticking your dick in a blender, as the old Northern Coalition learned to their detriment. We're staying out of it.

That means a time of skirmishes, peacetime reimbursement, squad deployments, and scamming, scamming, scamming. For some of you, this brief interlude will be like Christmas; for others, it will drive you up a wall. Eventually, someone will do something stupid and piss us or one of our buddies off and we'll be back to war.

Obligatory Website Plug

We're now looking for Eve contributors: writers with ideas about Eve who would like a platform to offer their opinions and analysis on gameplay or ingame politics in feature pieces on TheMittani.com. Hit me up (Ed: Use the 'Contact Us' form) if you'd be interested in applying; a writing sample to prove you're not an illiterate is the first step. We pay our contributors a hilarious amount of isk: 500m a month for one piece a week, plus bonus isk for each after four. Come write about this silly game, get isk, and fund your sub for free.

Gay Paris

The Great Big Euro Goonp From Hell is coming up on November 24th, and already 60 of your fellow nerds will be attending, myself included. The last time I glanced at the thread it was only 55. Some guy from Playboy is going to be there to cover the meet, adding a surreal element to the experience; if we play our cards right, hideously ugly pictures of actual fleshy goons will be included in the magazine, ruining the boners of all three remaining Playboy subscribers with the misfortune to behold the piece.

 

The Mittani
Goonswarm Federation CEO, Space Tyrant. Likes yoga, Alaskan Malamutes, bacon, and delegation.